Skip P.E Today

Ten Fail safe excuses

Time of the month and loss of trainers just won’t cut it with the average sadistic P.E teacher. So here are some creative excuses…we haven’t exactly tested all of them yet so let us know how you get on…

1. In light of the recent MRSA out-breaks my Mum is requesting a letter from the school describing the gym mat disinfection procedure. I’m not supposed to participate until she gets it.
2. My polycystic ovaries are acting up.
3. My personal fitness objectives and goals require that I participate in either polo or mountaineering. Since the school is unable to accommodate my educational needs, I’m allowed to just sit in the changing room and read Vogue .
4. I have been diagnosed with a sensory disorder that causes me to become anxious around sphere shaped objects and the smell of sweat.
5. I had a session with my Reiki practitioner  yesterday and she said for the next 24 hours I’m not supposed to let anything harsh my mellow.
6. I always ruin my French manicure on the parallel bars.
7. My designer heels won’t fit into the gym locker when I get changed.
8. Sweat tends to stain the leather upholstery in my limo.
9. I feel emotionally bullied by the advanced puberty and musculature of the other girls here.
10. 10. People shouting my name repeatedly brings back the trauma of being hounded by the paparazzi.

This was written by Whateverafter reader Sophie Potter. If you want to write for us email hello@whateverafter.co.uk with your idea.