28 December 2011

How to get a celebrity

Reach for the stars (literally)

How to get a celebrity

Because if they met you, they'd realise you were meant to be...

If in 2012 only one person will do, and that person happens to be an international superstar then fear not… just follow Whatever After's guide to making it happen. And don't forget to mention us on your red carpet E! interview… 

First things first...

1. Get Real. You may fancy the pants off James Franco, but in reality he's a thirty-three year old man who sites fine art and astronomy as his interests. Before hurling yourself into the chase, do some research and some rational thinking.  We think being in the same country, and being a similar age gets you at least 90% of the way there… right? 

2. Are they attached? If you're determined to go there, that's your business, but we're just saying it might make things more erm…challenging. Most people take things like marriage pretty seriously and we wouldn't really recommend joining the world of the shiny and famous as a home wrecker. Especially if they have a celebrity partner. Oh and if they only date other celebrities (hello R-Patz, Zac and Justin) then you might have a struggle on your hands. But maybe you're up for the hustle… and why not eh? 

3. Are you insane? Not as clear cut as you might think. A lot of people think Robert Pattinson is Edward Cullen. And then they are disappointed when he doesn't appear at the end of their bed, nevermind when they find out he has basic hygiene and mardiness issues. So… make sure your target is an actual real person. We all love Mr Darcy, Jack Dawson and Captain Jack Sparrow but our chances of dating them are pretty slim. So, a real live target is an advantage ya'll. 

Okay, so still committed to making it happen? 

Don’t stalk them like crazy. Acting like a mega-crazed fan could freak them out. Be potential girlfriend material, not a psycho. If you follow them everywhere they go and know their every move, they’re going to want nothing to do with you as opposed to wanting to get to know you better. Besides, screaming like a banchee is not a good look.

Plan your ‘accidental’ meeting. Which to be honest is going to be the hardest part of the plan. We've thought about it long and hard and decided the best way to go about it is to do work experience in an industry where you are likely to bump into them. Daniel Radcliffe's girlfriend was a runner on a Harry Potter film and a lot of celebs are married to make-up artists, camera people and crew they met on set. See, we have thought about this people. 

Keep your cool. Acting like a flustered chicken won’t do you any favours. Being calm and collected will make you stand out from the crowd and give the impression that you are a cool, mature, sophisticated gal. You've got this far, if you buckle under pressure now you'll never forgive yourself! 

Get famous yourself. A sure fire way to get on to their radars. If you're up there collecting your Oscar then they're sure as heck gonna wanna talk to you at the after party. It's a long term plan we admit, but surely a fool proof one also? 

And...If you are just a glory hunter with no particular care as to your target then here is our list of potential beaus…

1.        Harry Styles (or whichever One Direction boy you fancy)

2.        Robert Pattinson (Kristen always looks so bored when she's with him….)

3.        Daniel Radcliffe (breaks rule 2 but could be an option)

4.        Emma Watson (If option 3 isn't your thing...)

5.        Rupert Grint

6.        Any of the guys from The Wanted

Okay people. We've given you the basics, the rest is up to you. Keep us up to date and we'll see you on the red carpet…

This feature was written by whatever after readers Maya, Sarah and Jess. If you want to write for us email us your idea to hello@whateverafter.co.uk

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